Ork stories
Dem Bikes Ain't so Bad!
Industrial Zone 12 ruins, Planet of Tatoonie
Nasea Cluster
Sector -0.425
The Orks and Gretchin of Grishnak's Gangstahz stood in a ragged line, sweating under the harsh
Tatoonie sun. Gritty, abrasive sand scurried over their feet as their eyes followed their Warboss'
pacing up and down the line. The big Ork waved Wolfbighta around wildly as he ranted at them.
"OK, ladz, dis iz da way it iz: We've been stuck on dis stinkin' ball a' sand fer munt's now smackin'
dese stinkin' humies all over da desert. We'z all sunburnt, dere's sand in everting, an' all our stuff's on
da fritz cuz ov it." He paused to take a deep breath before continuing in his maddened pacing. "Now
we've been followin' dese bike-ridin' beakie boyz all over, an DEY . . . AIN'T . . . LEAVIN'!!!!!" He
emphasized his point by firing a volley from his trusty kustum shoota over his warband's heads. "Now
we're gonna be here fer anuver munt, before da transport can come back an' get us!"
A deep growl met this revelation. The Orks shifted restlessly, eager to punish the humies that had
trapped them on this terrible planet for another interminable month.
"An' whose fault iz it, boyz?"
"Da Rude Delmort, Boss!" Came the ragged reply.
Unsatisfied with the uneven response, Grishnak turned sharply on the long green line. "Whose fault iz
it?"
"DA RUDE DELMORT, BOSS!!!" This time the response echoed off the surrounding dunes and the
crumbling ruins behind them. Grishnak knew the humie marines in the distance would be warned by
the angry roar, but he was past caring. He nodded, gratified.
"Dat's right, its doze Rude Delmort Beaky's fault. We wuz gonna leave. We wuz gonna go someplace
wit less sand, less wind, an' less HEAT!" He punctuated each point with a short burst from
Wolfbighta, sniffing uncaringly as a stray shot sent a Gretchin tumbling into the distance. "An' wut 're
you gonna do about it?!?" He shouted at the Orks in the line, his squigy breath washing over them in a
fetid wave. Grishnak looked unbelievingly as one of the kommandos raised one tentative claw.
"Wut?!?"
"Um," said the Blood Axe diffidently. "Give 'em what fer, boss?"
Grishnak covered his rage filled eye with his power claw and shook his head in dismay. He turned
back to the rest of the Orks, giving the kommando who had spoken a vicious backhand without even
looking at him. Brukk just looked away.
"I sez, WUT 'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!?!?"
This time the response was not tentative nor diffident. "GIVE'EM WHAT FER, BOSS!!!!!!!"
A demonic gleam shone in Grishnak's eye. A terrible, viciously evil grin spread over his craggy
features. He lifted his grotesquely fanged maw to the sky and roared his anger at the Universe.
"YEEEAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" A long stream of tracers flew from Wolfbighta into the pale blue
sky. An answering salvo tore out from the line of Orks and Gretchin, ripping huge streaks into the
distance.
Grishnak waved at the kommandos. "You'ze guyz go forward furst an' try ta get da Dread. We're
gonna be right behin' ya tho', so don't dawdle about." The kommandos silently turned and
disappeared over the dune. Brukk paused long enough to throw what the warboss thought might have
been a salute in his direction, then disappeared after the troopers.
"OK, ladz" Grishnak began, turning back to the mob. "Dis iz gonna be quick an' dirty. No fancy
planz, no maneuverin' an' no worries."
The mob growled its assent.
"Jus' spread out 'ere, ever'body get a good look, an' when I gives da wurd, I want da pulsas in de air,
da smasha gunz zappin' away, an' ever'body else runnin' for'ard." He turned to the Snakebites, their
snorting, snuffling mounts staked to the hard-packed sand beside them. "You'z boyz iz gonna git stuck
right in, go straight fer 'em, gots dat?"
Gumz nodded eagerly. "Yeah, boss. We'll swat 'em upside da gulliverz wit da powerclaws 'fore dey
knows wut hit em." The other boarboyz gathered around, muttering savage agreement.
"OK, den," Grishnak muttered, turning back to the rest of the mob. "Ever'body git ready." The
warband shuffled eagerly off to find positions to wait for Grishnak's signal. They all ignored the
pounding sun and the blowing sand, at last about to come to grips with representatives of the race that
had trapped them on this Gork-forsaken planet for so long.
"Dis sucks." Brukk muttered bitterly under his breath. The imposing bulk of the Blood Axe
Kommando Kaptin was pressed against the lip of a huge industrial waste dump very close to the
marine camp's perimeter. His stogie, customarily unlit during covert ops, was soggy to the point of
losing its basic shape after being clenched between his fangs during the long, disgusting slog through
the viscous green fluid.
But the kommandos were now in position, and when Grishnak gave the word, the marine sentries
next to the big water tower were going to be very surprised, not to mention the big dreadnought
casting its menacing shadow across the Ork-infested pond. Despite the vile liquid seeping into his
jungle boots, Brukk began to grin with anticipation. He gestured toward Mac and Gutrip, indicating
that their target would be the marine sentry with the bulky tube of a missile launcher resting on his
shoulder. He gestured to Bek that the target for the heavy bolter would be the bike gently revving
nearby, a marine mekboy straddling it, scanning the area for movement. Brukk's smile got bigger as
he reflected that the marine had missed the most important movement of all.
Brukk caressed the small metallic ovoid in his claw. The memory of the Blood Angel's dreadnought
snapping and crackling in its own burning circuitry was sweet, and completely untempered by the
memory of the impact of countless autocannon shells, that one having faded soon after Grishnak's
medisquigs had done their work. Nothing pleased the kaptin more than taking down one of the
terrifying marine dreads with one of Joko's tiny little toys.
Brukk was lost in thought when Grishnak's subtle signal rang across the vast desert, echoing off the
buildings and scaffolding of the ruined industrial complex.
"GET 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Brukk cocked his arm back for a throw at the unsuspecting dreadnought even as the sound of a pulsa
sailing through the air and smashing into the desert floor to the left reverberated through the sand,
sending ripples through the thick liquid surrounding the kaptin. Mac and Gutrip let go with matched
volleys, sending the missile-toting marine limply over the lip of a dune. Bek braced himself against the
heavy bolter's kick, sighted down the length of the massive weapon, and stitched a line of dark craters
into the dune just behind the techmarine's head. But Brukk's attention was completely absorbed by
the dreadnought, and he snarled in glee as his muscles rippled in preperation for his throw.
Then the Dreadnought flew away.
Or that was Brukk's first thought. He stared up, fanged mouth open wide in disbelief, as the huge
form rose gently into the hot desert air. Then Brukk saw the faint shimmer of the smasha gun's field
surrounding the floating dread', and he realized what was going on. He turned back to the Orky line
where the smasha gun's Gretchin crew were hopping up and down excitedly. He shouted a wordless
curse at the little gits, then turned back to watch the marine vehicle drift backwards, away from the
furious kaptin, before suddenly the field cut off and the dreadnought, with all the aerodynamics of a
boulder, crashed to the ground behind the dune it had been standing on.
Brukk was out of the glop and pounding towards the edge of the dune without thought, maddened by
the escape of his prey. The haywire grenade was clenched tightly in his claw, and his only thought
was for the dreadnought that had escaped. As the kommandos moved to follow their kaptin, the
marine sentries' answering salvo cut down Mac and Gutrip, sending the luckless Orks sliding back into
the poisonous slop.
Grishnak surveyed the terminators on the dune in the distance. The slumped form of their sergeant,
riddled with autocannon shells from one of the Nightwing's bikes, lay in front of their standard wedge
formation. The skull-headed marine on the bike juked and dodged fire from Lew's lascannon and
Gak's heavy plasma gun. But when the impressive bulk of a pulsa crashed down in the midst of the
terminators, there was nothing any of them could do, and Grishnak howled in glee when skullhead's
bike rose gently into the air despite his wild, desperate attempts to control the vehicle. The warboss
looked back towards the cackling Gretchin crew with amused tolerance as they wiggled the smasha
gun around and cut off the power to the force field, dropping the bike on top of one of the
terminators. Grishnak imagined skullhead's eyes widening as he realized that, although he had
survived the drop, he had landed right next to the pulsa rokkit's smoking shell.
Sure enough, the rokkit's little force field generated slammed on, and a sand storm exploded upwards
into the pale blue of the desert sky, obscuring the warboss' view for a moment. Through the slowly
blowing sand he could see the bike go sailing off into the distance behind the terminators' dune as
those stalwart warriors of the Imperium went staggering to their armored knees.
"Get 'em!" Screamed the warboss, and all the Orks who had stationed themselves with him on the
right flank began to advance towards the supine marines under the cover of Lew and Gak's heavy
weapons as the Gretchin began to wheel their big gun back behind the dune, having been robbed of
further shots at the bike. Another humie, this one armed with the long vicious snout of an assault
cannon, slumped back to the sand and did not attempt to rise again.
Brukk could see little through the angry red haze obscuring his vision. He was only peripherally aware
of the staccato series of explosions off to the left marking the destruction of an entire squadron of
bikes thrown out of control by the viciously accurate pulsa. He heard, without comprehension, the
charge of Gumz and the other Snakebites as they slammed into the marine sentries, the tide of Orks
and boarflesh overwhelming the stunned defenders while a tide of Gretchin rose behind the charge,
swinging away to the left, towards the pulsa's impact point.
But Brukk didn't care about any of that. He didn't care about the autocannon shell-riddled bike and
techmarine body slumped against the side of the dune as he ran passed. There was no room in his
Orky brain for any thought beyond bringing down the prey he had been robbed of. He could here the
sand-clogged servos of the marine dreadnought whirring behind the dune and new the fall probably
hadn't even hurt it. The remnants of his mob behind him, the kaptin pounded around the dune and
came to a ragged halt as the huge marine machine lumbered into sight.
For a moment Brukk stood still, staring down the barrels of two lascannons and a huge assault
cannon. The dreadnought came to an abrupt stop when it saw him, and time slowed. The haywire
grenade seemed to increase in weight in his claw, and the red haze before his eyes seemed to fade
away, leaving only the very real dreadnought standing before him. Brukk could hear the wind rustling
over the dunes, he could feel the harsh sun on his upturned face, and the glare of the light off the
dreadnought's vision slit almost blinded him. Time ceased its forward motion.
A sudden explosion off to the right brought him back to his senses. The rising weapons of the
dreadnought represented a very real threat that needed to be ended. Brukk snarled defiantly, cocked
his arm back and sent the metal spheroid arching towards the huge target.
He missed.
For a moment Brukk could not believe what he was seeing. He never missed! How could he miss
such a large target, so close? His eyes desperately followed the glittering object as it sailed right over
the dreadnought, hoping for a lucky bounce. Once again, time slowed as the monster's weapons
continued to come up into firing positions, and the grenade bobbled across the hot sand. It rolled up
away from the dreadnought for a moment and Brukk new dispair. Then it started to roll back towards
the beast, and came to rest against its gritty, metallic right foot. Brukk's smile returned, and the
dreadnought seemed to pause, as if sensing its danger. Then the grenade exploded in a bright, huge
fountain of blinding white sparks.
Brukk howled in triumph as the dreadnought was engulfed in smoke and billowing sand. He had taken
down another metal marine monster! There was no stopping him! His celebration ended abruptly as
the dreadnought stepped heavily out of the swirling cloud. The Ork's red eyes widened in disbelief as
time once again resumed its natural speed, and the world exploded in chattering flames as the dread's
assault cannon reached long yellow fingers towards its would-be destroyer. This time Brukk never
even felt what hit him as the slamming impacts of the shells knocked him off his feet and into the gelid
sludge of the industrial waste.
"All we have over 'ere iz da marine kaptin an da dread, boss." Hindy's voice crackled in Grishnak's
ear. "Da sentries iz dun fer, an da Snakebites iz gone around back again. My gitz iz gettin beatin' up
by da kaptin, an' dey can't last much longer."
Grishnak tried to control his annoyance at the sound of concern for the Gretchin in Hindy's voice. He
knew his anger at Brukk's obvious failure to take out the dreadnought was coloring his thinking.
Absently he cuffed Lowkee in the head to work out his frustration, ignoring the indignant look the
little standard bearer shot him.
"OK, Hindy," Grishnak growled over the comm. "Pull yer little bleeders back, Da Kan'll take out dere
dread, an' we gotz da termies pinned down on dis hill. We're OK."
The warboss turned back to the dune. The large shapes of slumped terminator armored marines
littered the hill top, only two still standing. With his chin he tuned his comm. set to the general
warband frequency.
"OK, ladz, we gotz 'em where we wantz 'em. One last smack an' dey'll know dey been hit, an' dey'll
leave. When I gives da signal, ever'body shoot." The warboss took a deep breath. "One . . . Two . . .
Free . . . Five, GET 'EM!!!!!!!"
In front of the warboss the terminator's hill top disappeared as shot after shot from lascannon, plasma
guns and autocannons slammed into it, sending great gouts of dark sand fountaining upwards. The
sound of the capacitors on Da Kan whining up split the air to the left, and when it abruptly stopped
and a solid ring echoed off the buildings down range Grishnak knew that his dread had scored at least
one hit on its opposite number.
As fast as the final salvo had begun, it ended. The Orks of Grishnak's Gangstahz peered nearsightedly
into the swirling sand and dust, claws clenched around hot, smoking weapons. Grishnak dialed up the
enhanced vision of his bionic eye and could barely make out the form of a single terminator
disappearing into the distance, leaving its fallen brethren behind.
"Hindy," Grishnak grunted softly. "Wutz goin' on over dere?"
"Um, da kaptin iz gone, boss. An I t'ink dere dread iz gone too."
A low growl escaped Grishnak's throat. The loss of the dreadnought would have been a huge problem
for the Rude Delmort. Within his heavy mega armor his massive shoulders shrugged. He had gotten
the information Nazdreg needed. Again. The warboss looked at the boyz around him, all eagerly
hoping for the sign to hunt down the three fugitive marines.
"Naaaah, boyz," Grishnak said, lowering Wolfbighta. "Dere's no point. We done what we needed ta,
we'z earned a break." A sharp tension seemed to drain out of the warband, and their tooth-filled
mouths twisted into fearful grins at the praise.
"Lowkee, go gather up wuts left a' da Grots, an' have Hindy git da pulsas. Da rest a' yah go find some
shade."
Grumbling contentedly, the Gangstahz scattered, weapons held nonchalantly over shoulders or
dragging in the sand.
"Oh, and Lew," the nob stopped his whirring retreat to look questioningly over one mega-armored
shoulder. "Go drag Brukk out 'a dat glop." The nob nodded glumly, gesturing for Gog and Gak to
follow him.
"And someone take one 'a dem bikes an' get da Snakebites. Dey'll jus' keep goin' 'less someone stops